So I have this idea that I am trying out. I have Vertigo and drink a ridiculous amount of coffee. Starbucks. Not that weak nasty shit at Dunkin Donuts. DD coffee is for pussies (and I don't use that word because I don't like it unless it fits and I am angry so obviously it fits and I am anger at DD for offering such foul beverage). Shit even McDonald's coffee is better. So being that I generally feel like I am "Like a record baby...round..round..round..round." I am going to try having only one cup of Keurig coffee at home in the morning and the rest of the day water and/or tea. Today is day two. And I feel a void already. No Starbucks in my life for over 24 hours. I feel like the spirit of the Starbucks God that dwelt within my spirit is leaving. It's going to be a chance for the DD Demon to creep in and make a scene out of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Except it really will just involve me vomitting coffee on people who drink Starbucks. Anyway my experiment is if I cut out most of the caffeine I would like to see if that is contributing to my "this is not like being drunk and the whole world is spinning with me because we just naked table danced in China from all the Sake we drank with chopsticks but Sake is outta Japan so what is it that we really just drank being that we are in China" type dizzy fun. This is not enjoyable. I actually cried the other day driving home because it is miserable like Julia dealing with a phantom toilet seat at night. There is a solution to everything and I am looking for it. And actually my suggestion to Julia is either cut his dick off so there is not need for him to raise the toilet seat or have him learn to be like a lady (like I do) or if you wanna be really ballsy you learn to be standing up or just pee on his face while he is sleeping. Anyway I am totally side tracked. So no Starbucks today. Hopefully for a good reason in the end.
Paul Liner
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