I want an accent. Something magical and glamourous. How do I go about finding the appropriate one though? I have tried a broken Asian accent which by the way I am quite good at. Hay-ro dis ees Paw I fry in frun China to bee-zit my fam-ah-ree in duh Ways Bo-gin-ya. I have even learned how to right in this mystical accent. I love being Asian. Well Yellow Card official per my ex. I used to be able to do a Spanish accent in high school. Chew know? My Irish isn't too bad. My creepy fat man/woman voice is good. Yet I need something more. I need a new accent. Something no one has heard before. I want to be the first Accent Trend Setter. I want the world to want my voicebox. I wanna wake up in a tub of ice wondering who highjacked my vocal cords and ponder the meaning of life. Grrr southern twang that I am stuck with when in West Virginia. And city accent when I am back in Baltimore. I want more!!
On the topic of gunshots I just thought it added a little pazazz to the title. On the topic of thumb nails I removed my American French the other day and walked around with one painted thumb nail and it made me laugh. I was too lazy to remove it at the time. I was trailer trash status for a day. You know you are trailer trash when you have only one painted nail and do nothing about it. This statement is non-negotiable because it is truth and listed somewhere in the Constitution.
I am in a good mood today. The world is spinning and so far I am not so that's a perk. I get to have a needle jabbed in my arm today and that makes me so grateful. And by grateful I mean I don't like needles unless they have ink attached on the end. Yay blood.
So in conclusion if you find a small child say 2 years of age teach them how to Dougie and say Gum-ment cheese/EBT/WIC it makes for a good time.
That's all.
Paul Liner
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